Drinky Thinky

It's slow the fuck down time.

If you, like me, are a recovering "rushing woman", then making time for yourself may feel like a luxury you can't afford. What the hell is this "me time" everyone's always rabbiting on about, anyway? Is it stomping across fields with the dog listening to Mel Robbins' podcast and being overwhelmed with yet another 32 self-care and productivity protocols you need to shoehorn into your already crammed schedule? Not today, baby.

It's just ten minutes. (Minimum. If you can bear to stretch it out longer DO IT. You won't regret this, I promise you.) With a hot-water based beverage, a pop or a pint of water - you do you, honey. I mean, I've even done this with an alcoholic drink at the end of the day in a pub garden on my own. No judgment here. But ten minutes may be a bit short to enjoy that pint of cider. Which brings me neatly to the first Rule of Drinky Thinks:

1) Enjoy your drink. Actually taste it. Wait, back up, before you even taste it - while you're making it (if it's not being handed to you by a cute barista, barmaid or spouse) - revel in the process. Ah...it's Thinky Drink time.

(Look - it's a drinky think or a thinky drink - let's not get caught up in the branding here.)

2) No phone. This is not an opportunity to doomscroll, catch up on the Gram or check email. Throw the fucking thing in a drawer and walk away, ma'am.

3) No idle chitchat with friends, colleagues, your partner or your housemates. Not even your dog (sorry, Wilma). You need to find a place where you won't be disturbed. In my trailer I turn my chair around on the deck so neighbours can't see me and engage me in conversation.

When I lived in Canada I used to go to Starbucks, grab a coffee and sit on a bench on the Beltline. When the weather's shite in England (ahem) I put YouTube on the telly and find a roaring fire to gaze at. If it's dry but cold I don a giganto coat and sit outside anyway. You can take the girl out of Canada etc. etc.

4) No pads or pens. This is not a productivity hack where we jot down useful things that come to us as we relax. It's just a goddamn cup of Joe and no distractions. M'kay?

BUT WHY? I hear you cry. Because the digital age has taken away our ability to take a break. Whenever we're at a loose end we are massively drawn to our bloody phones and our bodies and brains are completely overstimulated. I don't know about you, but the hypervigilance and general low-level anxiety this can produce has made me feel exhausted and twitchy. This can help.

If we really want to "get back to ourselves", in that unplugged-from-the-Matrix sense, then we need to practice doing nothing. Or as little as possible. To remember what it felt like to be bored.

Have the courage to be alone with your thoughts. Gaze off into the middle distance and let the chimps in your head fight over a peanut. Don't feel like every goddamn second has to be spent "productively". Shake off the low-level, insidious shame the patriarchy has instilled in you whenever you take time for yourself and stick two fingers up at internalised misogyny.

I want to stop drinking the Kool-Aid of social media and have a drinky think instead. How 'bout you?

Let me know how you get on in the comments.